life

Lightening the load..

Shagufta Abbas

Okay i have been feeling really awkward n so not peaceful..that i need to get it all out.

Umm.. where to start from? :S

Okay, the thing is..I’m feeling.. umm.. miserable? I am getting this weird feeling that I’ll shatter,SOON. When and how, that i dont know.. 😦 But this time, it feels certain.

I’m just so..messed up.

My blogger friends and twitter buddies might think that I am the most farig bandi on the face of this planet. But,umm.. I have been reallu busy.  =[ There are a few extra responsibilities from which I had tried to flee.Dont know why. But somehow i was lost in the middle of nowhere. I couldn’t put myself together and focus on the things which craved for my attention.

I have lost contact with a few friends. Close friends. I know I’m bad. N I know they wont trust me either when I’d say I’m rarely using my cell phone. =/ It used to b my addiction,but now it repels me like anything. That’s weird for a teen, but i guess, i am weird. My bechara cell rests in my bag for days until it’s battery dies. Just charged it after a day 😛 . Though it’s the only way I can patch up with my friends, I just dont get enough time to start a conversation via text messages..

uhhh, i’m not giving enough time to studies as well, I’m coming across a bunch of geeky ners everywhere.. =/ not that i aint a good student, but the nerdy atmosphere all aroun dis making the faith in myself shake to the extreme limits.. =\

*deep sigh*

Sorry,bloggy, I have to put you aside. 😦 Though its only you who now knows each n every misery of my life, but i need to stop getting attached to you. I love you for listening to the filmy n dramatic ups and downs of my daily diaries, and I also love you for letting me vent it all out, n then keeping it safe and hidden in your drafts..lol, but its time I better prioritise stuff. I’ve realised that I’ve been taking out time for you no matter what, n hence, ignoring.. no wait, rather forgetting, naaaahh.. umm.. just being away from other stuff..

I cant even express myself.

So, the thing is.. I need to contact a few friends after a LONG time! Those lovely fellows of mine always drop a hello n call at my place but me,the miss-i-am-so-busy-n-heartless ALWAYS hangs up within a few minutes, coz either i’m being called by api or dad, or my mischevious little nephew is causing destruction all over the house, or i have to go somewhere and the list goes on..

NOW,
I really NEED to contact them! It’s been so long since we dint have a heart to heart conversation.. What do I do? Shall I just text them up? If yes, then what do I write ? And what if I fall asleep later on, it’ll anger them again.. =/

*confused*

You so need to tell me what should be done,

I mean, there CAN be a balance between friends n family n academics, CANT IT? 😦

HELP ME OUT!

Oh,did you check it out, I so need to thank her (I still dun know her name, I’ll call her Uni then) for this lovely lovely poem! C it her way!

ps. Allah mian, Aj special blessings for my dad, Though I never say it to him directly that i love him, and there exists this HUGE gap between us two, but you know everything about our strange bond. Just bless him with a life that offers him no more sorrows, coz now he’s alone, n I, helpless. 😦 And plz help me be a good daughter. I’d be grateful.

51 thoughts on “Lightening the load..”

  1. Heyyy. See, there are a few practical steps to becoming a leetle less miserable (I’m listing them down, because I don’t like it when people say to me, hey, you’re going to get better sooon) 🙂

    1. Try to fix a time for a blog. And not keep on checking it (maybe for comments etc). ONE fixed time for posting, one fixed time for replying to comments. NOT more than that.

    (The reason why I said what I said above is that we tend to, at least I’ll admit openly this, love comments of people and the urge is strong to go check em all out etc, so its got a nice big potential to waste valuable time).

    2. (this advice is for me too :(.. ). Try to do house related things in advance. E.g, you know you’re going to be asked to clean XYZ room. Try scheduling it this way that it’s done already whenever anybody thinks of it.

    3. Do spend serious time (take time out) for studies. This is truly an important stage for you. It’s going to define your university choices, and it’s going to help you in your career.

    4. Just don’t think. CALL EM UP. All of the friends with whom you’re close, or supposed to be close. Set up a meeting point. Just take a start. IA the rest will follow.

    5. If you’re a Twitter addict (that’s another serious time waster)… them um, well okay it may sound Auntyish – but my advice would be to stick to blog only because that’s a good way to connect. You don’t NEED to put out 140-character updates each hour do you? Just think about it.

    And charge your phone regularly 😛

    Have a nice productive day!

    Reply

    1. and I’m so grateful! Coz someone telling you k everything’s gonna be okay is good, but someone telling you how it’ll be gets better! =]

      1- working on that! Cant believe I replied after soo many hours!
      2- nahiiiii =p lol okay I’ll give it a try tonight, and will update you tomorroW!
      3- *sigh* okay im not making a time table, coz i know i wont be able to follow it.. I made a list of small achievable targets, hope working on it helps!
      4- I DID!! ^_^ You know what? I made a list of the people I need to call/txt/mail/meet and slowly n gradually, with the passage of time, I feel like I’ll make it through! *fingers crossed*
      5- umm :S Baat mei dum hai! 😀 Okay no promises on this, but I’ll try to lessen the time period i spend on twitter! Chalega na? *innocent smiley*

      Damn it!! It’s battery might have died again! 😀
      *rushes to get my handbag n digs out the already dead cell*

      Reply

  2. YOU are just awesome and I get lost in everthing you write. I have the same problem, time is everthing to me and sometimes I just don’t make enough time for friends either. If you do decide to take time out here….I will miss your writings greatly. You have soooooo much potential and it shows in your heart, soul and mind…know that you’re treasured…by so many!! Love from Australia xxxx

    Reply

    1. Aww Amanda that was such a big compliment! Honestly I’m humbled! (:

      how do you deal with it? =/

      Thanks so much!! I wont ignore my blog either, will do something, you all are so precious I can’t stay away for long!!

      thanks again! *hugs*

      Reply

  3. Hang in there. You seem like a much stronger person than you’re letting on here. You’ll break out of this slump and be better than ever 🙂

    Reply

    1. Amen to that Romy! =]
      glad to hear such positive stuff from you! It shows that you’re off to make a positive change in life, SOON!
      Heartiest wishes for you dear friend!
      n thanks a bunch!!
      (:

      Reply

  4. hey shaggy kid, don’t be sad and shattered first of all..u juz need to get ur routine right and balance between all. Make priorities in ur life. I think academics should be on top. U r a gud student and dun wry about nerdy environment. Just focus on ur own studies and inshallah u vl do it. And the time u hve free, u can spend with friends or on blog. And patch up with friends yaar..In friends, just a simple impulse is needed to get everything right. Just contact them soon. And may allah bless ur father and inshallah u are a good daughter and will remain forever..So, no sad sad..nd start everything with spirit. And please maintain a balance and settle ur priorities..
    Stay Happy 🙂

    Reply

    1. Hey Professor sahb! (:
      thanks so much for that..
      i agree with the friend thingy though.. kal se ab tak a few of my tries have been successful enough! (: but a few weren’t that good.. 😦

      Aaameen! I wish!

      u too! =]

      Reply

  6. goofy dun worry yarr every thing will be fine i think its all about the chat we had on phone so dun woory thing will get rite n we are with u n we trust u i knw u r bzy in the same way every one know that u had thosand of responsiblities n work to do
    so dun feel bad n dun get sad

    Reply

    1. Hey Rida!
      (:
      no its not related to that, it had been in my drafts since a week, n finally i took it out n did a few additions n editions n published it..
      thanks for understanding, that makes me feel relieved! =)

      God bless you!

      Reply

  7. OK at Uni’s pont number 5, than she doesnt know what we two are doing on twitter like ALL the time… but Seriously Shaggy.. Uni’s RIGHT we HAVE to stay away from it as much as possible.. both of us HAVE to get in to the universities of our choices…. 😀 InshAllah Ameen.
    As for catching up with friends tou yaar… I have had alot of friends with whom I have lost contact… but dont worry, the one’s who are the closest will understand the moment ull either text them or call them 🙂 Dont worry about that….

    Reply

    1. hehehe lol *wink wink*
      han she has to be right! after all she’s Uni! 😛
      Ameen ameen! (:

      I have got one positive response so far.. =/ but i’m feeling really hesitant to contact a specific one.. =/

      Reply

  8. Shagy gurya….Don’t calculate your life… 🙂

    5 minutes for Dad, 10 minutes for Kitchen, 10 minutes for nephew, 5 minutes for studies… bla bla….

    Life is wind, let it blow on its way… you can never change the wind direction…just make whirpools of your own choice… 🙂

    As far as friends are concerned…. stick it to your mind that GOOD FRIENDS don’t even think for a moment to leave us or break up, whatever the reason is….So collect friends in your life… FRIENDS the real one 🙂

    Reply

    1. you’re right Dee, but this time i am losing my enthusiasm.. =\ cant give my best..in anything..

      (:
      I’m in the process of realising who the true ones are..I hope I dont get disappointed..

      Reply

    2. its true that keep on struggling on the same path make us tired more than enough but “Girtey hain Shahsawar he maidan e jang mein” 😀

      so no worries, there is a lot to do now…. except calculations, let yourself free and do whatever makes yourself happy instead of others…you can never make others happy… so blow like wind… 🙂

      Reply

      1. gir gir k fracture na hojaye bas.. 😛 baaki kher hai! 😀

        know what Dee, i actually like ur advice! =]
        but though i dont show it to their faces k i realise my mistake,i actually think about pleasing them all the time! 😦
        For me, it gets REALLY hard to go my own way n stop thinking to please them..

      2. you cant please everyone honey…thats impossible… never please anyone beyond your own self respect and dignity.. 🙂

        focus your mind on target things rather pleasing people… 😛

      3. Dee i cant get peaceful until I dont do that.. =/ n the last phrase is actually true! I’ve lost my self respect for like a million times trying to please them.. 😦

        will try.. try.. n try.. 😛

      4. learnt your lesson…did you??? now stop bothering for those who dont deserve to be cared…got it gurya???

  10. For those friends who think u r selfish and dont have time for them… just make them read this post… 🙂
    Rest in this century every single persons suffer from the same problemm… Time management 🙂

    Reply

    1. Hey Sana! (:
      oh I’d lovvvvvvve to make that happen! But I wont, they’d complain about it.. =/

      aaaahh i so need to work on this..n on anger management too!

      Reply

  14. You know the closest and dearest friends ALWAYS understand. That’s how it is, things like these can’t break the bonds of friendship. True friends will always understand, all you have to do is open up your heart. 🙂

    Reply

  18. Ah ! the sick feeling of being lost ! 😦 sad it is to know yourself being in the middle of no where ! I can see why you wrote it 😦
    I hope things are all better now !

    Reply

      1. nae 😦 life is not awesome see it happens like this you smile all of a sudden things turn down you get sad you try to overcome then get back on track then you slip again 😦

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