life · misery · You'll never figure out why i wrote this

Muddled threads

..and there are times when I just look at the two of us.  Blabbering jabbering has always been my thing, and now when I see doom playing all its part in calling me one doomed person, I look back to you, with hopeful eyes which would soon turn hopeless. That one thing you have assured me of. And now, change and fate – are my favorite subjects to argue about.

As I see my crumbling heart weeping on its hopes being crushed, there comes a moment when I start daydreaming about the fantasy world I had once built. The very next moment reality slaps me hard and makes me fall down on my face.

That time, I know, somewhere in some corner o my heart, that I will get back up, on my own. And no I don’t wish for any helping hand to lift me up. All I wish for that moment is to stand asap and reach out to you- to be by your side, if not able to be beside you, then atleast a few steps behind you. Oh how I wish to protect you from this evil world no matter how many bruises and marks they welcome me by. But I fear, I fear you’ll never look back, you’ll go on and on, so far away that no matter how fast I run, I wont be able to catch up to you.

I know I am tied to you. But with all my efforts to change, can you please put in a few from your end too? I know I can be bad, I am bad, but not as much as you secretly think of me.
Can you please, just for once, accept what fate has decided for us with a smile? If you cant bring me roses, can you please stop throwing thorns at me?

You’re so distant, yet so close. So close, yet so distant.

Why do you wish to make me hate my belief? My faith is strong enough. After all the times I fell, I have always stood up. Not once, not twice – A lot. But that doesn’t mean all these falls dint hurt. The wounds you once saw are still there, don’t get deceived by the healing scars you see.

Let me walk now.
I aint wishing for more, am I ? I don’t wish to run, or to fly. Neither do I still wanna crawl, and please, no more falls. Let me, please,  just walk?

My vision gets blurry now.


19 thoughts on “Muddled threads

  1. i find your post very familiar… and i know what are you going through… its just that you should always know that you dont deserve to be treated this way from anyone if your conscience is content… =)

  2. I surely hope and pray all your worries and grief NEVER make you fall (because one who learns from past experiences – is not a ‘faller’ in my opinion)… and may you have a pretty happy and contented heart soon.

    Also, sincere duas that your vision gets completely clear, where you see your previous moments as a source of inspiration, and the present, as a challenge, and the future, as hope – Insha Allah.


      1. :D……check TH!S out:P
        zulm tou tha, zulm tou hai, zulm tou rhey ga shagufta
        behtar hai, tu hi chup kr ke bai ja
        Khud apni raah pe chal nikal jaldi
        Warna aik aur zulm ho jaaiy ga shagufta…..
        Its one of mines:D try writing THIS in your next urdu exam:P

        behtar hai, tu hi chup kar k bai ja LMAO!

        Sad life mbbs has no urdu exam, your art and meaningful poetry needs some praise from all across the nation 😛 Lemme think of some other ways!

  3. i just realized that i’m on your blogroll! thank you. ♥
    and aww. this post was sad. i’ve tried changing for someone too, it’s hard.
    you have a pretty blog. post more soon!

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